After yesterday, part of me wants to go away and hide. Part of me wants explanations. Part of me is scared: what about all the other people in my life who suffer from depression or other mental illnesses? Are they safe?
A large part of me is tempted to stop blogging. What does this matter? I know intellectually there are people who read this blog (I have friends whom I know do, we sometimes talk about it), but so often I feel like I am speaking into a void. Even more often, I question if what I am writing is anything anyone wants to read. Do any of you really want to know my political or philosophical opinions or the cute things my kids say? Is my writing at all compelling?
Is the Internet a real place?
I could take a break, but I have a strong feeling that if I took a break I might never come back here.
This post is not a ploy to get sympathy. I also am not fishing for compliments, or even feedback (unless you want to). I am just venting, as is my wont.
Besides, if I get this out, maybe I'll feel less despondent.
Edited to add: yes, it helped a great deal.*
*So did looking at Facebook and getting all indignant over some piece of stupidity running around.