I need to hunt down  Railfan's hockey skates.  Fortunately, I already know where Echidna Boy's figure skates are.  Unfortunately, ever since I broke my ankle in college (a long and embarrassing story, there) I can't skate. This is a problem...

Because....

My college-sophomore eldest son friended me on FaceBook this weekend.

I expect the ice sheet coming up from Hell to hit here any moment.

Wait, was that a pig I just saw flying by?