One Million Lawyers, revisited...

And this time I lost.

It started with the Red-Headed Menace and I talking about, of all things, his birthday wish list which included Princeton Review Study Guides.  (For perspective, he's only a sophomore. Obsessive, much?) Since he hadn't said which review guides, I joked that I could get him the GRE guide, or the MCAT guide.

"I don't want to be a doctor.  I would be a lousy doctor." (I agreed.) "I'd make a good scientist or a good lawyer.  Maybe I should become a patent attorney because it's so cutthroat.  I have a friend with both parents who are patent attorneys, and he says they say it's absolutely brutal."*

So then we're off...

RHM: Okay, what law is involved in phone wires?  Wait, let me guess... zoning law.
Mom: Also FCC regulations, I think.
RHM: Okay, what's the law involved in that tree on our fence?
Mom: I don't know -- nuisance law?
RHM: Okay... what if the tree drops fruit in the neighbors' yard? Whose fruit is it?
Mom: Theirs.
RHM: Aha! Then what if is genetically modified fruit?  What about the seeds? Can they plant them?
Mom: If it's genetically modified fruit, then you are Monsanto Corporation and will likely sue the pants off them.
Mom: You do know that you have no idea whether I actually know what I am talking about or are lying through my teeth to you, right?
RHM: True...Okay... what about this old clock?
Mom: I can't say about that clock specifically, but clock designs generally are covered by copyright.
RHM: This peanut butter?
Mom: I'm sure the FDA has lawyers on staff.
RHM: And if it has salmonella, then there would be lawsuits. Okay, what about that cactus? [Indicates the potted cactus he asked for and got for his tenth birthday.]
Mom: ....
Mom: ....
Mom: Okay, you stumped me. 

I can't tell if I am more annoyed that I lost the argument, or proud that he didn't.  And, more to the point, that he wanted to have it in the first place.

*The the fact that he wishes to be in a cutthroat profession says far too much about his personality.