Letters I really should send...

Dear Apple, iTunes Division:
No, I absolutely refuse to buy the entire Cars soundtrack just to get John Mayer's great rendition of "Route 66."  While I love Randy Newman's work, I can live without hearing more Sheryl Crow on anything, and I already own Rascal Flatt's version of "Life is a Highway" (which is not nearly as good as the original, but I digress).  Nor will I shell out ten bucks just to get Sarah Machlaclan's "When She Loved Me," from the Toy Story 2 soundtrack.  This is extortion, plain and simple. (Okay, so I can understand making people buy the whole album to get Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant," but that piece (not really a song) is nearly a half-hour long.)  I would not buy anything else from you in protest, but I admit I'm hooked.

Dear Democrats in Congress:
Bipartisanship is a myth.  The Republicans did not practice it when they were in power, don't be browbeaten by them into attempting to practice it now.  It will not work.

Dear Supreme Court of the United States:
Thank you for having a number of opinions last term that did not make me want to gnash my teeth and rip my hair out.  Way to go, ladies and gentlemen.  I look forward to seeing what you do next term.

Dear Editors of the St. Petersburg Times:
Please keep turning out the best paper in the U.S.  Aside from your excellent news reporting (especially your longer series), you continue to be the major source for me of news about the Rays (hurrah!) and the Bucs (sort of worried about them, really), living here in exile in Giants and 49ers country as I do.

Dear Tampa Bay Rays:
Thank you for having a lovely season thus far.  It's so nice to be rooting for a winning team.

Dear Tampa Bay Buccaneers:
Please, please don't suck this season.

Dear High-school students in my house:
How nice that you've finally realized the correlation between actually doing your homework and getting decent grades.  Keep up the good work.


Finally:

Dear friends -- there are several of you, and you know who you are -- who have asked me really difficult personal questions over the past few weeks:
Thank you.  I am a work in progress, and works in progress need to have their butts kicked now and again.  I don't have any answers for you, but at least I'm thinking about the questions.




Sincerely,


Me.