Friday, July 16, 2010

Today's mantra...

Be Here Now. Be present in the moment, and do not fear about the future. Do not ruminate about the past. Find what is good in your life and concentrate on that.

I have had a bad afternoon, and a sad one, even though the morning was quite charming. I have been reciting the Serenity Prayer, and it's not working.

I wish I could freeze time. I wish...

Oh, hell.

One can intellectually understand that change is inevitable, even necessary, without being able to embrace it emotionally.

I have written about the job
. I am still employed. However, as I said in that post, the job is temporary. People are leaving. I am sad about that.

Several friends have or are going to shortly relocate out of the area. I am sad about that.

I am feeling ill, and will be unable to go to a dinner I was looking forward to. I am sad about that.

The physical pain I suffer from seems like it will never go away. I am sad about that.

It is summer, and I am sad about that.*

I need to remind myself of the things that I am grateful for, the ways in which my life is so much better than 90% of the people on the planet.** It's a hard slog.

In the end, it comes down to: good coffee, and good people to share it with. The Pacific Ocean. Hummingbirds. Jane Austen. Really fresh corn on the cob. Rick's Rather Rich (or Marianne's) Ice Cream. Shakespeare in Love and Raiders of the Lost Ark. Terry Pratchett. Great Big Sea. Alfred Hitchcock. iTunes. The job, and the people I work with, while it lasts.

The color blue. Autumn afternoons. Art. Music.

Writing.

It may not be a long list, but it's a start.

* People with Seasonal Affective Disorder are negatively impacted by having too little light. I (and a couple of other people I know) are negatively impacted by too *much* light. Summers are rough.

** Well, there are the very obvious facts that I have a roof over my head, food to eat and shoes and clothes to wear, and I do not fear soldiers with guns knocking on my door in the middle of the night. I need to remember and be grateful for those.

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