What do you mean I'm not an Aries?

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars ,
but in ourselves, that we are underlings... 
William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

I'm sure you've seen the news: because of shifts in the earth's rotation, the old zodiac no longer applies.  There is a new sign "Ophiucus"* and most of the other signs have had their dates changed.

Apparently all this is due to a statement by an astronomer at the Minneapolis Planetarium, who explained that in fact the sun did not move through the constellations which corresponded to the zodiac, but in a different pattern.  Which means we've been doing it all wrong.

This is tragic news.

I'm not an Aries anymore.  I am not strong and dynamic and full of leadership.  I am not independent and athletic. I'm a .... Pisces, given to directionless dreaming and compassion for others and a tendency towards self-pity.

Thing is, I want to be an Aries.  Aries are, as far as I am concerned, some of the coolest people on the earth. Maya Angelou is an Aries.  So is -- or was -- Rachel Maddow .  (On the other hand, Adolf Hitler was an Aries, and both Michaelangelo and Dr Seuss are Pisces.)  It always annoyed me that I was never more like the Aries described in the astrological manuals.  But if I am completely honest with myself, I do tend a lot more towards the so-called Piscean traits.

And I am a water person --- and a winter person -- much more than a sun and spring person.  So maybe there is something to this after all...

Except I am who I have always been.  Changing my sign did not change me (perhaps unfortunately).  And for every person trumpeted as a "typical" Aries, there are others who were more like Pisces, or Scorpio or Sagittarius.  (I personally know Sagittarians who are far more Arian than I am. Lucky them.)  And a lot of those "typical" Aries will become Pisces by this realignment just as I have.  And they will be no less full of fire and leadership than they ever were.

This is not news.  The stars have been aligned the way they are for a while now.  We are who we are, for good or ill.  I cannot blame them for my lack of focus any more than I can laud them for my sense of compassion towards others.

Which just goes to show what all of us who believe this is complete and utter hogwash were right all along. I'm not necessarily happy about this -- there is something reassuring to feel that the reason we are the way we are is because of stellar influences far beyond our control.

I think I should have Weird Al have the last word on all this.  [Warning: seizure/migraine trigger for sensitive people.]

Now if I can just shut up all the people who claim that their life is going to hell in hand-basket this week because Mercury is in retrograde....

*Ophiucus is "The Snake Annoyer."  How cool is that? Personally I think he should be represented by Harry Potter, but Harry was born the wrong time of year.  Pooh.