Just call me "Iron Chef Comfort Food"

One of my current popcorn shows is "Be The Next Food Network Star." Like all reality shows, it has the attraction of watching people drive themselves crazy doing things I would never do, in this case for something (my own tv cooking show!) that I would never want. Unlike "Survivor," it has the additional advantage of having what seem to be generally nice people as contestants.

The last episode was on, among other things, how well the contestants multitasked. They seemed daunted by the task. Wimps.

I am not a stellar cook, merely an adequate one. My cheesy whipped potatoes are beloved by my family, and I can do a decent job on chicken, and I am renowned among my friends for my frosted mint brownies. (Oh, and I have made croissants. From scratch.) I love making new potatoes with garlic, and broccoli, but also use a lot of convenience foods. I do make a very nice Thanksgiving dinner, however.

And I can multitask like nobody's business. Take tonight.

It was not a usual dinner: I was not eating, the teenager was not home. Unlike, my usual practice in such cases, which is to say, "Guess you guys are on your own, aren't you?," I agreed to act as short order cook. My husband had spent the day tromping through mud and rain shooting imaginary bears*, my nine-year-old was recovering from being sick, and since I was making food for them I agreed to make the other pre-teen something. I told everyone I would make what they wanted for dinner.

Things went down something like this:

Place chicken patty in microwave, turn on. Put water and salt in pan for grits. Put skillet on burner, preheat for potstickers, add oil. Get eggs and two kinds of cheese out of fridge. Remove chicken patty from microwave, place on bread, place in toaster oven with slice of Tillamook sharp cheddar cheese -- set on "toast". Put frozen potstickers in skillet, cook for two minutes. Place omelette pan on burner, preheat. Add grits to boiling water. Add one cup water to potstickers, cover, set timer for eight minutes. Stir grits again. Add butter to omelette pan, beat eggs, season, pour into omelette pan. Plate chicken patty sandwich with yogurt. Stir grits. Add cheese -- shredded cheddar/jack blend (yes, I buy the big bags from Costco) and grated parmesan/asiago (no, I grate my own) -- to omelette. Stir grits. Flip & plate omelette. Plate grits next to omelette, with butter and cheese. Remove potstickers from heat. Plate, and explain to child that he really does need to eat something other than just potstickers for dinner -- maybe some yogurt?

All the while having a conversation with the nine-year-old about the fact that C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien were contemporaries and friends.

Total elapsed time: 15 minutes. Okay, so it's convenience and comfort foods, but that's still not shabby. If I hadn't been making the potstickers, I could have done it in ten. And I can do similar feats with real food -- i.e., things with actual vitamin and mineral content.

And you know what? I could have done that with a camera rolling. I've never had to cook under the glare of the spotlights, but I have had to deal with "is it done yet?,""why can't we have tortellini?"(from one child), "but I don't like tortellini"(from another), "do we have to have meat sauce?," "you made what he liked last night, why can't you make what I like tonight?," "Ewwwww garlic," "it's not my night to do the dishes," "Hon, I have to leave in ten minutes," "it's not my night to clear the table," and the ever popular "can I make my own dinner?"

I am Mom. See me multitask.




*Seriously, he was running through the woods shooting imaginary bears; okay, pictures of imaginary bears. All as part of a USGS defense against wild animals course he is required to complete in order to do field work.